Saturday, April 14, 2018

Cameron Meredith Is Very Excited To Try Beignets



Cam Meredith confided in Bears general manager Ryan Pace that he had never tried beignets, a small, donut-like pastry that is popular with tourists in New Orleans. Pace, grief stricken with the news, decided to create a way for Meredith to eat all the beignets he wanted by signing Meredith to an original round tender rather than a 2nd rounder, which would have given the Bears a second round draft pick from any team that signed him. This low round tender enabled the New Orleans Saints to sign Meredith to a 2 year deal with 5.4 million guaranteed. Common sense would dictate that the Bears would immediately match this very reasonable offer.

I'm Kevin white. You'd know that if you were a real fan.

However, Pace knows how important beignets can be to a person; Pace is 1/8th beignets himself. His Great-grandfather had been a sack of pastry flour before being shaped into a square pouch and fried in a vat of hot oil. Pace's grandfather was created using the left over crunchy parts of his father. This can be the only explanation for allowing a player, who was slated to be your number one receiver in 2017 and the number 2 in 2018, to simply walk away with nothing in return. 

I ejaculate powdered sugar

Pace feels that homegrown talent is overrated anyway. "We don't need to develop talent, we need to keep making beignets or my whole family is fucking dead." a misty eyed Pace pleaded to reporters.

Put us in your mouth you automated piece of shit.